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I wonder....
I wonder what the country would have been like if Robert Kennedy hadn't been assassinated and become President of the United States. I wonder who the president's after him would have been. I wonder who our nominees would be now.
For the heck of it
A few months back, I shared my love for Dancing with the Stars.
I was really rooting for Jason Taylor this year.
Here was one of my favorite dances of any of the couples for the entire season:
(you might want to skip ahead a bit to get to the actual dance)
hot. just hot.
Jason Taylor was a great dancer I think. I was really rooting for him. If they were rating the couples on hotness though, he and Edyta would have won FOR SURE.
This one is kind of fun. Again, skip ahead a little, unless you want to watch Jason's partner rehearse in tiny outfits:
Here's a dance I enjoyed by Mario and his partner:
I thought this was good. And he rocked those white pants...
I think he got eliminated after that dance - which sucks because this was his best dance.
Dancing makes me happy...
It's those little things
I'm kind of strange, though I'm probably not the only person like this. It's like there are these random little things that can put you in a great mood.
I am a huge Coldplay fan, have been for years. My friggin iTunes hasn't been able to update in...well, almost a year (damn that Windows Vista), so there are occasional songs I can't download because I need the most up-to-date version.
Well, I'm watching TV the other day and I see the new iTunes commercial featuring Coldplay. What a great commercial! Seeing as I couldn't download the song, I went to YouTube.
I've probably watched this 30 times in the past two days. It's put me in a good mood and makes me excited for the new Coldplay album. I just wish it was a full length video. I love the way Chris Martin moves in this - and it's just done really really well. I love the colors too...
Mmmm, I'm gonna watch it again.....
I was going to write about the Oscars but....
I got really busy and now it's seriously old news.
But, just for the hell of it.
Favorite moments:
Javier Bardem's win (even though it wasn't surprising) - his speech to his mother.
Marion Cotilliard winning for La Vie En Rose. People were all upset - but that's because none of them saw the movie. She was great. And not just because the makeup people were able to make her look like Edith Piaf.
When "Falling Slowly" from Once won for best song. That was probably one of my favorite movies of last year. So fantastic. And I thought it was great when they brought the woman from the movie (I'm not even going to try to spell her name) back on to give her speech.
I was at an Oscar viewing partying, and we all clapped when she was brought back on.
That's all, just had to get it off my chest.
Why I'm not voting Republican...
...at least not anytime soon.
First, on the shallow surface, I don't even like John McCain or Mitt Romney (let's face it, Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee don't stand a chance, not like I like either one of them).
But going deeper, I feel like everything the Republican candidates open up their mouths and say I either disagree with, or....well, yeah, that's pretty much it.
"I'll find Osama Bin Laden" - ok, great, thanks.
"I won't back down from the terrorists" - oh, so this war gets to drag on longer? great, looking forward to it.
You're going to "secure" our boarders and build fences? Yeah, I'm thrilled.
You want to beef up the military? No thanks, spend the money on our lackluster schools and shoddy education system and maybe the kids going through the system will have better problem solving skills than the people currently in power.
You want to promote "strong families." - please, stop abusing the word "family" by making it code for "I don't support gay rights." Many gays and lesbians want families too. What about them?
And every time they say "I'm the true conservative," or some form of that phrase, I just go "well, clearly you aren't speaking to me or trying to get my vote because if I hear that you are a true conservative one more time, I might just throw my TV out the window." But really, I'm not conservative, but I don't consider myself wholly liberal. Maybe I am and I just don't see it, but the conservatives really aren't speaking to anything that's important to me. Sure I am a small business owner and I wish I had as much business now as I had this time last year (oh dear god, I really really do), but there are things much more important to me than how much money my business is bringing in. Shocker?
Here in California, we are a couple of hours away from our polls closing. I'm dying to know how everything pans out.
Heath Ledger's death has left me unsettled.
I was at work today, talking to a co-worker about Bran Renfro. She didn't hear that he died last week until yesterday. I was reading an article online about how he has a son living in Japan. As soon as our conversation ended, literally, I got an email from a friend saying that Heath Ledger died. My immediate reaction was "no way." I thought perhaps my friend was looking at the same picture of Brad Renfro that I was and mistook him for Heath Ledger. I wrote her and attempted to corrected her. Curiosity piqued, I Googled Heath. Nothing popped up at the top. Then I clicked the news tab and was presented with a long list of links saying "Actor Heath Ledger, dead at 28."
I couldn't believe it was true.
I loved him in "The Patriot" and his performance in "Monster's Ball," however brief, makes me cry every time. I wasn't thrilled with Brokeback Mountain - I wanted so much more from the movie, and I also thought Jake Gyllenhaal's accent wasn't that great. I did see Heath in "I'm Not There" and I enjoyed it. Though, sitting here thinking about it, I think he was a great actor (it's funny to write "was") - what I am experiencing is not a fan girl reaction, because he wasn't someone who was ever really in my mind. But when I read the news, I just couldn't believe it.
I immediately IMed everyone who was online on my buddy list practically. Why was it so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that some guy died? I mean, yes, he was an actor, but he was a human like you and me. I thought about it for an hour, until personal problems of my own began to dominate my thoughts.
When I made it home in the evening and turned on the news, his death was the top story, after the storm we're experiencing. I felt sad again. Sad for him, sad for his daughter - who is now without a father, sad for Michelle Williams, Heath's family, and anyone else who was close to him. Maybe part of the surprise is because he wasn't out, going crazy, in and out of court, or beating people up. I'm sure no one really saw this coming for this guy at this point in his life.
No one really knows yet what exactly happened. The autopsy hasn't happened yet. Could have been suicide. Could have been an 'accidental overdose.' I heard Harvey Levin of TMZ say he had pneumonia at the time of death. Regardless of the outcome, it just made me get to thinking about the lives we live behind closed doors. To the world, he seemed fine. But if it was suicide or drug addiction, clearly he wasn't fine. Did anyone have the slightest idea? I could spend my nights drinking away the hours, ruining my liver, and not a soul would know. I could be shooting heroin, eating sticks of butter, running in circles while naked. I could have a live in lover, a stipper pole in the center of the room...or anything. And no one would know - even the people who know me best. Who we are when we are alone could be drastically different from who we are when we are around others.
I still can't put my finger on why this particular death has been bothering me so. But clearly it's bothered me enough to write a long post about it.
One of those rare moments of clarity
Sometimes, you can think you are good at something - or at least that you don't suck at it. Maybe, most of the time it's been such a non-issue that when it hits you in the face, you realize "oh crap, I have a problem."
I realized yesterday that I am not good at asking for help.
I do not ask for help often. I've learned that asking is typically pointless. I think that everyone, at some point, needs help with something. There are some things that are easy for me to ask for help with - a job related matter (can you help me with X so I can finish Y? I don't understand A, can you explain it to me?) or help putting heavy packages in my car. There are some other things, but I won't get into them.
Yesterday (well, technically now, the day before yesterday), I found myself in a situation where I really need help. I mean *really*. And I just did not know what to do. I still don't. While walking across town, thinking, it didn't help that I ran into someone I went on a few dates with, who was completely passive and basically an ass. Like - oh great, here you are, right in my path. Does that mean something? I always think things mean something. But that's another issue.
At any point, during the hours and hours I thought I was going to lose my mind, you would think that I would have picked up the phone and called one of the 100+ people in my phone. But I didn't. My thought was "they wouldn't help anyway, so what's the point of spreading the gloom?" when really, had I picked up the phone, the first person I called could have helped me - how would I know?
Experience has taught me that it is a waste to ask. I don't ask for help often, because I don't usually need it. So when I do ask, it's needed. It's like the friend who never cries, but suddenly calls you up bawling - you know it's serious. Or, to interject some positivity into this post - it's like the person who has never told someone they are dating that they love them because they don't use the word lightly. But then they say it to you - and you realize how much it really must mean. End positivity.
Over the past year, I tried to get better at asking for help when I needed it. But virtually every time was met with "sorry" or "I can't" or "If you absolutely can't get anyone else..." Gee thanks. So eventually I went back to not asking, even when it was really needed. But that's bad - because you never know what will happen. You could end up very surprised.
But yesterday, in my jam, I was so fixed on the fact that asking was pointless, that I didn't contact anyone. I figured it would be less painful to suffer through it. Thirty-six hours later, and I still have no picked up the phone.
It's so strange. I know I am not the only person who has trouble asking for help. But why do we have this problem? There is no shame in asking for help. It's just like what "they" say about asking someone out - "all they can do is say no." And initially you think "um, exactly, the no is what I am afraid of." But if you step away from the situation and think about it, getting a no isn't necessarily as horrifying and traumatic as we initially make it out to be.
So, with plenty of time today to wallow in my problem I thought of the most disconnected (yet just a tiny bit connected) that I could call. Is that odd? I thought my chances would be better, but I still ended up not calling. There is still that block to asking for help. Some people are programmed to think that asking for help makes them seem weak. I don't have that programming/mentality and I love to help others - so I find the fact that I struggle with asking for help very interesting.
So, the first realization - that I am not good at asking for help - came to me. I am hoping that through processing all of this, I come up with the second part - WHY GOSH DARN IT?!? (I got all my swear words out earlier - I have none left)
Useful information for the young folk
Sex ed saves lives. ;-)
NSFW, btw.
Funny?
A Well Deserved Win
Tonight was the finale of the 5th season of Dancing With the Stars.
I love that show.
I saw less than a handful of episodes the first season. I saw a bit more of whatever season Drew Lachey won. Not much of the season with Mario Lopez. But I really really became a fan last season after taking my mother to a taping. I knew that she LOVED the show, so when I got tickets, of course I took her. I started watching every week after that and when I got tickets again, I took another friend.
As for this season, I missed the first few weeks, but tried to watch as much as possible.
Mel B. of the Spice Girls and Sabrina Bryan of the Cheetah Girls were *clearly* exceptional dancers. But the thing is, to me, a show like Dancing With the Stars is about taking people with no dancing experience and turning them into dancers - so even though Mel and Sabrina (and Drew and Joey from previous seasons) have a different kind of dancing experience - they still have dance experience!!!
I think Helio Castroneves win was well deserved. The show is about fan support, but it's also about the most improved. I really do think that was Helio. Mel was pretty strong from week to week.
Here is Helio kicking butt:
Look how pumped he is afterward - so awesome!
(I got to meet Julianne's family at the last taping I was at - very nice people!!)
Speaking of Mel - absolutely hot! stunning, hot, beautiful, powerful. And her partner, Maksim...well, he just like God placed down on the dancefloor for us to enjoy. The two of them paired up is like...well, it's not only fantastic dancing, but incredible chemistry that makes for some of the hottest television I've ever seen. Here's a taste:
and another hot one.
When the dancers are good, they are really really good and it is just AMAZING to watch how it all goes down - the way they move, the energy, the tight choreography. I've always enjoyed watching dance, regardless of the type (for the most part) - so this show is so much fun for me.
And Maksim says he won't be back next season...that makes my heart hurt. Maybe they will put DWTS on DVD???
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