I feel really bad about this one. I mean, not about the goal in itself, but about my lack of attention to fleshing out my thoughts on it.  This was one of the first goals I added to my list when I joined 43Things.  As many of us who are frequent users of the site may have experienced, sometimes our relationship with certain people goes beyond cheering each other and leaving the occasional comment.  There are people from 43T who I have exchanged emails with outside the site.  One of the first people to take the time to email me was StarriseAwakening and I feel really bad about never responding to that particular email. (The comments that follow aren’t in reference to her, they are my general feelings on the whole situation)

This whole college thing has just ben a nightmare, and also a nightmare that’s hard to explain to people. And sometimes I don’t want to – not because  I don’t want people to understand, but because I think they might not understand after I explain, and that’s what makes it even harder. It’s much easier for me to understand why people don’t understand the changes I’m trying to make when I don’t explain anything to them. But I think once I explain my feelings, what my plans are, what I want to do, and then people still don’t get it – that’s when things get frustrating and that’s when I start to doubt myself. That’s one of the major reasons I get really uncomfortable when people question me about it.

This is unfortunate because I do want people’s insights and opinions on the situation. I really do. But the whole situation makes me really tired and I just got really fed up with it.

So anyway, all that to say, that it’s 95% certain that I won’t be returning to my university this year. I do want to finish college though, and if it’s possible, I want to continue to take courses (someplace else) until I’m fully immersed in another program.