Here I am
sitting on a barstool
headphones on, Ray LaMontagne singing smoothly into my ears
"war is not the answer...the answer is within you."
I'm kind of wishing that I had a q-tip next to me, as I'd rather not stand up...even though my butt is kind of hurting at this point. pesky ear wax.
I'm sitting here thinking about how exhausted I am and how I should really be in bed.
I'm thinking about how my life isn't exactly what I'd envisioned for myself right now, but that you know what? My life isn't half bad.
I'm thinking that tomorrow will be a good day, and that's something I don't often think. I can even say I am excited for tomorrow...
I think I will play this CD over again, even though I've listened to it all the way through at least 4 times today. I love the journey this album takes me on.
Glancing around the room, I realize how comfortable I am here and how I can't wait until things are all in their rightful place(es?).
"don't let your soul get lonely child it's only time it will go by..."
Distracted by the banner ads of half naked women flaunting their body parts, I wonder if there is some way to make it stop. This might excite or at least interest me if I was a lesbian. Unfortunately for me, I am not a lesbian. It's just plain annoying.
"see I've been to hell and back so many times, I must admit you kind of bore me..."
I'm thinking about how nothing in my life turns out just the way I hope it will. Rarely does something absolutely terrible happen, but I have a very active imagination and reality rarely lives up to it. The conversations never flow the same way, the people aren't as enthusiastic as they were in my head. The speech gets messed up, the agenda goes out the window. Someone puts my clean towels and pillows on the floor, which drives me nuts, but I say nothing, because they are trying to help me, and I silently think of how I will have to wash them all over again...
And don't even get me started about the wild fantasies I have about me and a field of tall grass and a guy named LaMontagne, or sometimes it's a gal named Jolie, and how that never quite works out in reality. Kidding.
There was that one night in October that was better than I imagined...mmmm, much better. That was nice. Ah, memories.
"can I stay here with you till the morning? There's nothing I want more than to wake up on your floor..."
I am content to be typing my random thoughts out, esp since they are things I never get to say out loud. I feel like I'm getting warmed up. I think the next step is to finish and publish the post I wrote many weeks ago but never let out into the wild.
I will try to update again this week. And next time, it will be something that makes sense to other people, not just to me.
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